The scapegoat(s) of narcissistic families

Narcissistic caregivers will project the attributes they hate about themselves onto their designated scapegoat in the family & persecute them. Other family members will often go along with the scapegoating. Scapegoats are blamed for all that is wrong with the family so it can maintain their perfect image.

Adult scapegoats will seek external approval trying to get the love they didn’t get as children.

If you were a scapegoat, know that everything you learned about yourself from your narcissistic caregivers had anything to do with you. They projected onto you what they did not want to see in themselves & basically “sacrificed” you so only their perfect image remained.

To heal the negative programming you grew up with, say positive affirmations aloud to yourself & see how they feel in your body. If you are triggered, you can do Root Trauma Release (RTR) on the triggered area in your body.

Golden children are negatively impacted by being seen as “perfect”. They may have a deep fear of failure & need to be perfect at all times. If you were the golden child & feel trapped or stuck in your life, you can also do RTR.

Finally, Invisible or Lost Children were neglected & grew up believing they didn’t exist, or matter, & that made no impact on the world at all. They are often conflict avoidant & don’t get their needs met in relationships. If you were an invisible, you can see how expressing yourself & communicating your needs feels to you & do RTR on any triggers that arise.

All of these types of children learn only conditional love & acceptance & will be impacted in different ways. Please note I only shared examples of the symptoms. Everyone is unique & will learn different coping mechanisms.

As you do RTR, you will remember traumatic memories that planted your negative beliefs. As you remember, you can re-imagine the memories to re-program your negative beliefs.